Friday, 18 July 2014

Take me in to write some classy “bullshit”



 Hi ,
Whoever you are, you are close to awesome. I saw your invitation for internship on your website so I think I should join you guys and spoil you more.
I work with a search engine (name not disclosed to avoid publicity of company, I am their employee not brand ambassador), in fact I don’t work much but I pretend to work all the time. To look busy, I must be glued to my system. That’s how I start reading bullshit on internet from your site and some other better sites like Faking news , the unreal times etc. LOL ! don’t be disheartened , you guys are good too. Anyway, all I wanted to say that after reading bullshit for over 4 hours a day for more than 3 years now, I have also become a fond bullshitter, who this society can’t tolerate for long.
I discovered that I have been spoiled by you and other similar monsters when I started trolling everyone. Everyone means everyone - from my parents to my relatives, my friends, my colleagues and even my bosses. My most nagging habit is comparing people with celebrities for their awfulness which they even don’t understand many times (Obviously, they haven’t read this amount of bullshit in their complete life which is my daily dose). Some I compare with Shashi Tharoor & Manish tewari for their “Angrezi”, others I keep in category of Ashutosh & Shahid Kapoor for the same. I am not getting a girlfriend because of side effects I got from these crap sites, though I have numerous female admirers around, thanks to the similar crap content that I keep reading and reciting. Everyone keeps saying that there is something wrong with me (that’s what is your prime requirement, isn’t it ?)
Conclusively, bullshitters like you and some other similar guys (who proudly call them cool and unconventional) have contributed a lot to spoil me to the core and turn me into one like you. Therefore, it becomes your social responsibility to adopt me and take care of me.
Thanks,
Mayank (9990****48)
PS ; I am not attaching my CV in application. That’s a “professional” document which contains my achievements as an efficient worker and hence is useless for you. I am an Engineering diploma holder plus an English graduate who is torturing (and being tortured in) a reputed 12000 crore Rs advertising company as an Asst Manager – Quality. Rest all we can discuss over a drink ;)